calamity girl

hot sauce art

2010-12-14T16:43:00.002+08:00

Just for fun! :)

plate art by Rose 7th dec 2010
edit by me thru photoscape

hehehe :):):)

happy

2010-12-10T16:56:00.003+08:00

for the many times i've faked it, today i felt real happiness. why? because happy pill (the happy pill) put me back on his msn. or at least he removed the block on me. lol! and so today we chatted. for the first time in a very long-ass time, we chatted! and i am happy! :):):)

me smiling and goofing around like the "happy" person that i am! thank you, happy pill! :)

my newest favorite thing for my all-time favorite pill...

2010-12-08T16:09:00.001+08:00

thoughts flying by...

2010-11-29T14:24:00.003+08:00

do you need permission to love someone? do you need their consent for you to miss them? in a world where there is but a thin line between love and obsession, how do you measure affection? do you start from the point of the doer or from the receiver? how can you say when you are in love, and if you ever get past that, how can you be sure that it's real? when does all of it escalate into life's greatest gift and when does it diminish to be your worst downfall?

currently reading...

2010-11-22T18:47:00.004+08:00

MERCY by Jodi Picoult

This book is making me want to get married. It is good to argue with someone and still be kissed a lingering kiss goodnyt, a promise in itself that despite the pressure of the moment, you are still wanted and loved and you still have someone to call home. Awww! hihihi

oh wat a corny cheese!

2010-10-23T18:42:00.003+08:00

i found this on a piece of paper and thought i'd share... no, document is more like the word. it would take a miracle for someone like me to come up with a poem and sometime last year, that miracle happened. so here goes... :p

-moon request-

i hope that in your golden case where you keep your soothing light
you will take this gift of love you are to deliver on some place's night
my precious heart was taken away where my humble feet couldn't go
through you, how my chosen one is doing, i wish to know
i hope that when you shine down on him with your shimmering beam
he will feel the gift of love which for him i will let you bring

:))

coco hair studio...

2010-10-02T19:09:00.002+08:00

my hair rebond authority since 2008. i was there today for the third time, for the third year since the first time. lol! Naay cute nga koreano nagcut sa ko hair. haha!

See you next year, coco rebond team!

birthday mo kasi... year 2

2010-09-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

Eventhough the promise of September ran away with August, I still think it's okay to greet special people on their special days. So I created this, and eventhough I sent it late cuz I was out on vacay to Manila, I still sent it with the hope it will warm certain portions of the heart. hehehe. I'm so cheezy, I know!

date with old emails

2010-08-16T13:14:00.007+08:00

Today is harder than the others. I taste hearbreak all over my mouth and my tears just roll without my knowledge nor my permission! Why are all these pain back to haunt me?

All I really did was watch a romantic corny tagalog movie by sarah geronimo and john lloyd cruz. Of course, there was a great declaration of love and great happy ending that most movies have. Made me jealous, highlighted the fact that my situation is the other way around. So I had to do something to distract myself. I went on Yahoo and re-read the old emails from my happy pill. And I won't deny it, he did give me some really good advice. An example of which is below:

snippet from 9/28/2009 email:

Don't get your mind twisted thinking that losers are the right kind of guy for you.
you need someone simple who lives only for you. If i could do that i would so don't misunderstand. But we can't make it together. and you should be with someone who has less of a history than i have.

take it from my heart, because i love you that you NEED someone better.
simple is safe.
steer clear of guys with complicated lives and heads that constantly turn.

Nice, right? I don't know if I was able to tell him that all his complication, I could take with a smile. What I can't take is being abandoned. Sadly, that's what I am right now. So I guess he should have said, "steer clear of guys who will abandon you in the end."

Okay, this does not really help. I'm going out!

silent scream

2010-08-09T14:43:00.002+08:00

Everything I do and don't do still boils down to the fact that I love you.

spark of hope burning out

2010-08-05T13:58:00.002+08:00

my birthday is now a day away. i don't think that one person i am so hoping to greet me a happy birthday will greet me a happy birthday. Hehe :p He probably doesn't even remember that it is my birthday. So much for birthday miracles... can come true to some, but never to me. haha!

happy birthday to me!!!

2010-08-04T14:06:00.001+08:00

me at 27, sheeeeet!

singapore things to do / visit

2010-07-29T13:50:00.003+08:00

Visit the world's largest fountain at Suntec City. It is believed that walking clockwise around the fountain 3 times whilst touching the water will bring luck and good fortune.

Watch barefoot Hindu devotees walk across a pit of red hot embers in a show of unflinching faith, at the Sri Mariamman Temple during the Thimithi Festival in October.

little india

Enjoy a bird's eye view of Singapore's port whilst dining aboard a cable car.

Have an affordable meal at a hawker centre - our answer to fast foods. Try a plate of char kway teow (noodles fried in sweet black sauce) and down it with a glass of sugar cane juice. Lau Pa Sat is a popular hangout for locals.

A must-try is the thinly sliced barbecued pork sold at the popular stall, Bee Chun Heng in Chinatown.

Try local desserts like ice-kachang, cold cheng tng and bubor cha cha. Perfect for that hot, tropical day!

Fantasy Island, Sentosa

Be amazed by the awesome sight of enormous sand sculptures built by international and local teams at the Sentosa Sandsation.

Make friends with a pink dolphin. Visit the Dolphin Lagoon at the Underwater World, Sentosa.

Take an evening bumboat ride from Clarke Quay to Boat Quay and dine at one of the trendy al fresco restaurants situated just by the river.

Indulge in a first class movie experience - enjoy champagne with your movie at the GV Grand cinema, Great World City - the only cinema in Singapore with fully reclining seats.

Shop till you drop along Singapore's renowned shopping street - Orchard Road!

Practise your bargaining skills at the weekend flea market at Clarke Quay.

Spend hours browsing in the largest bookstore in Southeast Asia - Kinokuniya at Ngee Ann City.

Don't go home without downing the famous Singapore Sling - first concocted at the Long Bar, Raffles Hotel.

For an alternative method of determining your stress level, physical and emotional state, get your aura photographed at crystal shops in Fu Lu Shou Complex and Fortune Centre.

Changi Chapel and Museum, Singapore

today last month...

2010-07-28T18:44:00.003+08:00

1 month down, forever months to go! :) congrats again myb*tch! mwah! :)

... end of this road

2010-07-26T15:05:00.005+08:00

i am possibly the loneliest girl you know... :(

a few pre-mass words for mybtch so help me God

2010-06-20T13:50:00.004+08:00

"Dear friends, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7–8, NIV)

We are here today to witness the union of two very special people who have been drawn together by love. A love that is not authored by perfection, but determined to surpass all odds. Pierre and Carmelle found one another, laughed, cried, matured and have become stronger as a result of each other, all in preparation for a life and world that they will build together. Let us pray that God may bless this union and strengthen their commitment to each other in heart and in mind. Let this matrimony make the couple a living manifestation and part of the Mystical Union between Christ and Church, and may this inspire us all who are blessed enough to witness it.

Let us all rise for the processional.

**

2010-03-28T15:06:00.004+08:00

if this blog had hands, it would slap me from left to right and right to left with all its might. lol! why? because i never learn. i always compromise myself. such a broken-hearted walking pile of sorrows am i.

krua day

2010-03-13T15:31:00.000+08:00

Smiling happy when the truth is i am feeling shitty trying to be nice after being served a rice meal that tastes like shit and a 'special' tea that tastes like shit and later i'm gna have to pay a shitload of money for it. Shit!

Travels in my mind....

2010-03-08T08:00:00.007+08:00

I just spent the last two hours checking out travel tours and flights I probably will not take until I start to show signs of serious aging. If I do make some extra cash this year though, and I mean loads of extra cash, I would like to see Thailand. And Singapore. Malaysia. Palawan. Baguio. The Manila Ocean Park!

Haaayyy...

BANGKOK

SINGAPORE

happy hearts day!!!

2010-02-14T15:25:00.001+08:00

just another thing you can do with your M&M's

Symbols... symbols...

2010-02-12T15:19:00.001+08:00

This should work in any Windows word processor, text editor, browser or email client.

1. Make sure your keyboard is in NumLock mode.
2. Hold down the ALT key and enter the number on the numeric keypad.

for ☺ 1
for ☻ 2
for ♥ 3
for ♦ 4
for ♣ 5
for ♠ 6
for • 7
for ◘ 8
for ○ 9
for ◙ 10
for ♂ 11
for ♀ 12
for ♪ 13
for ♫ 14
for ☼ 15
for ► 16
for ◄ 17
for ↕ 18
for ‼ 19
for ¶ 20
for § 21
for ▬ 22
for ↨ 23
for ↑ 24
for ↓ 25
for → 26
for ← 27
for ∟ 28
for ↔ 29
for ▲ 30
for ▼ 31

From: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091214193523AAQqHQS

finding meaning...

2010-01-25T15:38:00.003+08:00

About two years ago, my twen gave me a spiritual book. The Purpose-Driven Life. She said I should only read it when I feel I am ready for a big discovery. I have to wait to be conditioned to read it, not just because I'm bored or I'm obliged to do so.

I picked up that book today. I'm not sure if this is the kind of readiness she meant, but I honestly can't make sense of most things in my life now - why things are how they are, why situations should go beyond our control. Hell, I even feel emotions that are bigger than myself now, and I don't know what to make of them! Why are we forced to say goodbye? Why are we made to feel love for people that can very well pretend that we don't exist? Why must we ache? Why, why, why?

Since I believe everything starts with God, the purpose of everything can be found in Him and through Him. And so begins my 40-day spiritual journey. Today was day 1...

i can't make you love me -- angela hacker

2009-12-07T06:24:00.000+08:00

ang aking mati :)

2009-10-25T22:15:00.002+08:00

*** d beri 1st pic i tuk of u

He's Just Not That into You

2009-09-14T07:53:00.007+08:00

It's been a long time since I liked a movie enough for me to comment about it in writing. This movie was definitely made by a specialist! Narrated by the neediest (and coolest!) character Gigi, the movie tells a story of how human signals are processed, interpreted and/or misinterpreted by five women and four men whose lives are intertwined oh so realistically in the story of finding that happy ending we are all waiting for. There's a great powercast - Jennifer Connelly, Drew Barrymore, Ben Affleck, Justin Long. Justin didn't look any different from that last movie of his that I saw, the horror one. Drag Me To Hell, I think it was. But he's a thousand folds more adorable in this movie. Ben Affleck looked like shit most of the time, hehe :) But his character is the sweetest! He was made to live on a boat, away from mainstream dating, to make it more realistic that he didn't hook up with someone else when he broke up with his girlfriend of seven years. It was implied that he didn't believe in marriage, but got married in the end anyway because he felt the need to make his partner happy. Awww!!!! This is not your ordinary feel-good movie. And even with all the neediness and the bloopers, I still want to be Gigi. Here are some of her awesome lines:

"I know I may do a lot of stupid shit, but I know I'm a lot closer to finding someone than you."

"Anyway, all my friends used to tell me about how things might work out with these dipsticks because they knew someone, who knew someone, who dated a dipstick just like mine. That girl ended up getting married and living happily ever after. That's the exception and we're not the exception we're the rule."

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up: if a boy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it: the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. but sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. and maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment... you never gave up hope."

birthday mo kasi....

2009-09-02T15:02:00.001+08:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

my happy pill....

2009-08-10T15:32:00.002+08:00

song of the moment... haha! from xtian

2009-07-13T15:19:00.001+08:00

When Did Your Heart Go Missing
by Rooney!

Love don't come so easily
This doesn't have to end in tragedy
I have you and you have me
We're one in a million
Why can't you see?

I'm waiting, waiting for nothing
You're leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing, yeah?

I meant every word I said
I never was lying when we talked in bed
I'm retracing every step in my head
What did I miss back then?
I was so, so misled

I'm waiting, waiting for nothing
You're leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?

I don't understand
How could you forget what we had,
It's so wrong

I'm waiting, waiting for nothing
You're leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?

Yeah!

Things were so good
We had a little dream
A little dream together
Buy a house, settle down, do our thing
But you disappeared on me
And your heart, your heart went missin'
I don't know how to find it
I don't know where it is
I don't know where your heart went
It was here just the other day
Now it's gone
I'm gonna call the police
Call the investigator, the heart investigator

that was then... this is now

2009-02-22T15:26:00.004+08:00

light up, light up
as if you had a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
i'll be right beside you dear...
-snow patrol

day 2...

2009-02-22T14:42:00.005+08:00

painful, yes... but brown and proud! hahaha!

high five! lol!

bad day....

2009-02-08T22:06:00.008+08:00

i have tried writing a full account of what happened today but can't seem to come up with a material that will give justice to me and everyone else involved. all i'm sure about is that this day will stand out like a sore thumb because today i finally knew how it is to receive a beating. lol! not a fun experience, trust me. and the culprit is not at all a stranger to me. haay daddy dearest (pweh!)!

so after being hit in the head a couple times (he aimed at my head most of the time, i wonder why), kicked around, and pushed so hard that my head bounced when it hit the floor, i entertained myself by taking these pics. i hope they serve a good purpose one day.

the damage on the outside. i had a manghihilot fix some bones inside that bruised skin

the kick. lol

to mybtch .....

2009-02-04T11:01:00.003+08:00

coincidental coincidences....

2009-01-31T11:19:00.000+08:00

i am finding it really harsh to have come across a reality that one of my friends at work has someone who, like james, is in the US army, was recently deployed to iraq and now lives in a CHU in camp adder in tahlil. he was deployed at exactly the same month that james was and have stayed in waiting in kuwait at exactly the same time that james have! amazing right? but you haven't heard the mother of all coincidences yet. both guys are of the same age, have almost the same birthdays, and (take this) go by the same name! james! bless my foot that stinks!!!

the only difference is this other james is actually super nice to the chick friend. he calls her all the time, talks to her online all the time, sends her flowers and gifts all the time, plans things with her, makes her feel important. he is, according to her, a complete sweetheart! pfff!!! don't even let me start talking about my side of the story. lol!

i haven't talked to james since october. and believe me, it's really beginning to feel like it's no big deal. but with this other chick enjoying all that attention just makes me curse in silence. why can she keep her james and i can't? lol! life, as i have come to realize, always finds its way to point a finger at you if it wants to. just when i have this great determination to move on, i am given with a constant reminder of what it could have been had i not been such a big loser in this equation.

she's living out my dream y'all! just with a different james. god bless us all! :)

cry of a sick blogger.... lol

2009-01-24T01:18:00.004+08:00

i missed work tonight because i am sick. nothing serious, just the usual allergy-inspired fever that pulls me down at least once a month. and since i slept during the day yesterday, i am now wide awake and, well, a little hungry. 1am, the clock said. go eat bread, my stomach said.

aahhh! i would love to have something really soft and cheesy. it doesn't have to be white, as long as served while a little hot. kinda like what the starbucks people do when they serve you your after-a-day's-work-well-deserved-puffed-in-the-heavens-cloudy ensaymada! mmmmm......

OKAY! enough dreaming! the ensaymada i am longing for no longer exists. due to some man's will to save, starbucks' ensaymada has been dramatically downgraded. they've stopped using quickmelt cheese for the topping and switched to cheap cheddar. such a horror! so now you will no longer get a heavenly bun capped with perfectly melted cheese. you will get a burned crispified grated cheddar cheese on top of what used to be your comfort food. and they're charging an extra P10 for it! gush!!!

change can be good. but starbucks! what did you do to my ensaymada?????!!!!!

happy birthday james!!!!!

2009-01-20T13:16:00.000+08:00

what a beautiful day!!!!

2009-01-19T06:29:00.003+08:00

i was amazed by the sun today. the rays passing through layers of clouds before touching the cool waters of the sea just made me hold my breath for a second. wow! such a beautiful start; full of brightness, full of beauty. it would be a real shame if this day went to waste!

so i choose this day to take my dieting seriously. for the past months i've been noticing my growing tummy fats, i didn't really do anything more than just complain, complain and make it grow even more. lol! so thanks to the beautiful sunrise, i feel like i am ready to take responsibility for my own health. and here are some easy tips i would like to follow for starters:

* drink water right before getting a meal
* control the amount of unhealthy food intake
* finish up with a fruit (fiber makes you feel full longer)
* do not eat anything after 7pm (i guess this is 7am for me, lol)
* get enough sleep to speed up metabolism

i will not say i will exercise because i don't have the heart to say that yet, lol! i think it will come easy later on when my mindset is better and my willpower stronger. for now, i'll just stick with making the healthier choices. to make it more heartbreaking, it means bringing down the fraps and the fast food trips to at least twice a week. it also means cutting down on the large cokes and the cheese. now that i've said it, i don't have an idea what to eat anymore, lol! i wish the healthy choices are just as accessible as the unhealthy ones. but, oh well, it shouldn't be that hard. and here's a funny video that tells me taking control over my weight just may not be as hard as i think:

there is something in the air that night fernando

2009-01-14T13:32:00.009+08:00

well actually not just THAT night, but all the other nights (and days) since December 20-something. does anyone else notice how surprisingly cold it is on this island lately? it is already the second week of january. do you still think it's just the "christmas breeze?" or is it because of the dramatic melting of the ice caps in the arctic? damn global warming! now we know the feeling to be an "iced tea." or is it because of the storms paying visits to nearby islands?

i don't know dude! all i know is it's frigging hard to get myself in the shower every night to prepare for work! it's become a struggle! and yes, i need to get more coats! i just saw someone walking in a fur coat today. on normal days, i would have laughed my tongue out. but the awful cold is lingering on. like a sadistic teacher standing over a misbehaving student saying, "take me seriously!!!" suddenly, visiting the nearest ukay-ukay stand for some good ol' used thick fluffy comforts (the kind they use in alaska, lol) is a great idea. i am seriously entertaining the thought right now.....

:)

new year como estas

2009-01-12T07:25:00.006+08:00

What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid?
that candy jelly thing from forever living and those iron vits in bottles. we were never religious in taking them.

Did you get any compliments today?
let's see... i stayed home and my bro called me fat and a scavenger.... all in the name of love! lol!

Are you friends with your neighbors?
yep. heck, we're related!

Favorite color?
i just changed it this weekend.... RED! bring on the passion! :P

How long has it been since you've seen the Lion King?
omg! 12 yrs give or take

When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes?
months ago when my dad was testing my driving skills. i haven't been behind the wheel in a long time! i have probably forgotten how to drive. :(

Have you ever had a crush on your friend's siblings or sibling's friends?
oh yes

Have you ever gone to the beach?
yes. and this is a retarded question!

How good is your eye sight?
it went back to 20/20 early last year :P

Whats the longest amount of time you've been on an airplane?
45 minutes. hahaa!!

Have you ever been out of your country?
not yet. the one chance i got, i turned it down because someone at work got sick and i was thinking it would be hard to miss two people at the same time. i will always feel bad for wasting that gift but i don't regret it.

What's the best wedding you've been to?
i am not a wedding fan. i get sleepy with all the fakeness!

Would your parents be mad if you got arrested for fighting?
they'd be mad if i got arrested for anything! but didn't i mention i wanted to see one of them get pissed??? :P

Ever been in love?
oh yes! to many it's a dream come true, but to some it's just pure tragedy! lol!

Do you have a Honda, Toyota or Nissan?
none of the above. what would you suggest i get?

What did you do this weekend?
chillaxin! :)

Do you wear contacts?
not anymore ;P

What do you usually do first in the morning?
unplug my phone from the charger

Who was the last person you went to the movies with?
liv. we watched twilight. haha!

Do you like where you are right now?
not really. this stagnancy is killing me slowly!

Do you miss someone?
i miss my cousies and my family outside this island. and, i'm not gonna lie, i miss james. :P hahaaa!!

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
hell yea!

Last relationship and when?
omg! like almost two years ago wit the j!

Been cheated on?
by my dad, YES! he really just cheated *and still cheats* on my mom but i'm putting myself in the equation too, lol!

Have you ever been a gymnast or a cheerleader?
haha!!! unfortunately not

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
errrmm...if they did, i sure wasn't listening. i don't eat bullshit

Has a boy/girl ever called you babe/baby?
yes...duhhhh!!!!

Will you be in a relationship in four months?
omg! i don't see that happening even in a year. lol!

Does anyone hate you?
i would think so....

Anyone annoy you?
some touchy feeler guys at the office annoy me to the ends of my power to reason. though, i haven't murdered them yet. relax!

What is stressing you out most right now?
it bugs to know that my family is falling apart and there's nothing that i can do about it but to watch it fall and maybe even fall with it.

Does anyone love you?
good lord! i sure hope so. i would need it most when i least deserve it.

Are you easily confused?
i have the tendency to over-analyze. so, yea

Are you high maintenance?
hell nawww!! the fashion trend is over even before i know about it lol! :P unless of course if you look at the way i eat :D

Are you happy with the way life is going?
gotta admit this isn't a great time for me

Do you hate it when people smoke around you?
oh yes! it sucks that nobody in this country ever asks if other people in the room mind if they smoke.

Is any part of your body sore?
i feel my stomach bulging. does that count?

How do you feel about public displays of affection?
too much of it is a form of violation. do not violate your own privacy!

What always makes you feel better when you are upset?
geez, i can't even give an answer to this one anymore :P my issues are escalated, beyond the good music and the good books and the cheesy food that used to calm me.

Do you like to take walks?
not always. i'm lazy :P

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
i don't think there is a way for me to know this at this point.

Do you fight with your grandparents often?
oh no!

Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
giordano... about 8 years ago :P

Have you ever been in a car accident?
they were very minor, thank goodness!

What bed did you sleep in last night?
my bed. because my brother took the place next to my mama!

Would you rather have big or small dogs?
i would like a big one if possible

Are you afraid of falling in love?
not really afraid. but it really is a form of craziness. it's a magic and a curse and ooohhh you know the rest of the story

What are your plans for today?
get some more rest and NOT BE LATE for work :)

What color do you paint your nails?
black or blue or other dark colors that i may like

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
i don't plan to look like a cow, thank you very much

Will you move in a year?
that's a possibility, depending on the australian embassy

When was the last time you were told you were cute?
haha!! rose tells me this all the time :P

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
not these days

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
no

Do you want to get married?
if only i could split the bills, yes! :P

Are you mean?
i notice that i am sometimes. i hate it afterwards

Do you think relationships are even worth it?
some are, some aren't. it's for them to decide cuz i ain't parcipating. at least not yet

Do your parents really know you?
no. they're busy fighting and feeding us with each other's dirt.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
that's been a temptation lurking in my head for a loooooong time now. it will generate a lot of anger :P

Are you stubborn?
one of my trademarks :P

Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
i have no business there. i'd rather see the grand canyon

Who else is in the room with you?
no one else i can see

i feel like my brain is shrinking....

2008-12-31T18:55:00.000+08:00

it's the last day of the year and i feel like my brain is shrinking. no improvement whatsoever... still earning from the same job i have for almost four years now, still single, still worrying and going crazy about the same stupid things, and, most of all, still waiting for the australian visa to be approved. yep, the one thing that would determine the rest of my future is still in some office drawer somewhere waiting to be reviewed (and approved). while i'm waiting, i'm definitely making more room for improvements and i can't wait to fill them up soon. i am craving for change! raawwwrrrr!!!!! har har har!!! :P

**** notice the proof of the shrinking brain.

hail to the bride...

2008-12-27T08:51:00.000+08:00

Twen *and a few extras* on her wedding day 12.20.2008

post christmas blog

2008-12-26T05:44:00.005+08:00

so christmas had come and gone. i am a few pounds heavier, that's for damn sure, and my christmas sock is not so empty anymore.... :)

see, i ended up reaching my hands out to receive the one thing i was almost sure i wouldn't get -- the laptop. this was wish #3 in my impossible wish list! yeyyy!!!! thanks to my cousin christa who waived her rights on her acer and gave the thing to me in the spirit of christmas. she must love me! hehehe :) i love her too. and the rest of the family.

wish #1 will probably continue to be so until i get my ass to a place where amazon.com exists and i can set up an account to buy the track myself. i am still saving up for wish #2. somehow, the savings get sidetracked all the time. so it feels like i'm starting from scratch all the time. heheh :) wish #4 wasn't really a wish... but yea, she's "it" and i hope she takes care of james. cuz if she doesn't, hell, i'll be pissed! as for wish #5..... what else can i say? lol! he just made public his intent to go to aussie after his deployment. i am heading that way, too. but there's really nothing i should smile about. he's going to see wish #4. :( so i lost my love to someone better.... or did i?

Happy Christmas!!!! :)

2008-12-25T02:09:00.000+08:00

the new status.....

2008-12-23T13:31:00.000+08:00

James Iraq is Iraq, 49 weeks til Australia :P

kinsa ning gada'g baso.... nyahahahaa!!! :D

2008-12-22T15:35:00.000+08:00

maid of horror

2008-12-22T10:04:00.010+08:00

so there was me in a dirty white gown with a little lacy pink thingy over it, alone in a room full of people. just a few steps from me were my twen and her husband, happy in front of the altar.

see,i had a role to play. i was the maid of honor. a little out of place if you give my views on weddings some importance. a little out of place because i was the only one that didn't belong to a crowd. apparently all the people were either the bride's or groom's family members, high school crew or work buddies. and they all came in groups. i, on the other hand, was the only rep from the college tribe.

the only one! it annoyed me to no end. after all i had put up with just to get it through... i wore a dress for crying out loud! and nobody remembered i needed a little company! every small talk i made was useless as people just somehow slipped back into their groups. for the many times i wanted to just up and leave, i kept reminding myself it wasn't about me. that i was doing it for someone else. so it's okay if i felt awefully stupid in a dress, with make up when all i really needed was a friend. just imagine me standing outside the church looking at these groups of people going back to their rides to be on their way to the reception. unfortunately there was no arrangement made for transportation of the entourage. so before all the cars could leave, i just followed this one girl and into the multicab i rode. i was hoping no one would throw me out saying the seat was for someone else. luckily nobody did. lol!

it has been two days since the day i gave a new meaning to the phrase 'single maid of honor' (lol!), but i am not as pissed anymore. one day i will look past it as if nothing happened. may this be a lesson, though. please try not to single someone in. i didn't realize there is such a thing until it happened to me. and then i was singled out. lol!

Wish List

2008-12-16T15:09:00.001+08:00

1. Prayer by Stevie B. -- I have tried to find this song for ages and I always end up with a cut-off track (I don't know why). Now i found the full version, but it's not downloadable. It's sold on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Prayer/dp/B000TPHOZU/ref=sr_f2_2?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1229411169&sr=102-2

2. ipod -- since my precious nano was stolen about 2 weeks before my 25th birthday, i feel i deserve a new one. i'll save up for it, i think. no one will give ipods these days. lol!

3. laptop -- nuff' said!

4. i want to know; is she pretty? ;)

5. james -- i keep it real all the time but i'll be honest, i would really love to have my sunshine back! lol! go ahead, make fun of me!

some pics of me and the one person who will love me no matter how many times i mess up in this life..... ♥ u mama!

2008-12-10T14:24:00.004+08:00

bob who?

2008-12-10T14:14:00.002+08:00

whoever he is, he's awesome! hahaha!!! nangopya ko ya! :)

Ang Pag-ibig Ayon Kay Bob Ong:

1). 'Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..'

2). 'Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba.'

3). 'Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang.'

4). 'Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.'

5). 'Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin.'

6). 'Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din.'

7). 'Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.'

8). 'Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa.'

9). 'Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.'

10). 'Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una.'

11). 'Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.'

12). 'Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totoong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka.'

13). 'Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority.'

14). 'Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya.'

15). 'Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.'

16). 'Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala'

17). 'Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan'

18). 'Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!'

19). 'Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo.'

20). 'Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo.'

21). 'Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka..'

watch me burst into flames

2008-11-28T12:33:00.002+08:00

new morning, new strength

2008-11-28T07:04:00.005+08:00

good morning!!!! :)
thought i'd share this little thing i found that moved me with undefined powers.... char! :P

There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore...
and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

if you are viewing this blog, that means you are important enough for me that i let you know this blog exists. and i love you. but there is one person i should really leave in my past. i can do it. i'll do it right here. with you as my audience. lol! my daughter would read this one day and she would know at least one "inspiration" to my stupidity. lol! she would tell me how weirdly unreasonable i've been and it would be fine because this chapter would be long gotten over with that it would be taken as a joke. a ridiculously long, fat, pointless joke! lol! so hang on tight! this defeated, rebonded little creature will undergo metamorphosis! ;)

the holidays so far.....

2008-11-27T19:42:00.005+08:00

so this has been the first day of the thanksgiving break. i've met up with a dear super friend and watched the movie adaptation of stephenie meyer's "twilight" which bored the hell out of me, lol! i have also seen the latest comment that the underage aussie chick has left on james' profile:

Nov 27 2008 9:05 AM

oh cool, photos of the lovely scenary of sand over there is it? lol, ah sandstorms and tents ....what a great match!
well i dont no when i'll talk to you again coz of ur schedule =(
take care

♥

it pains me more than it should. i know what i need to do and i can very well say it right here, right now. but talk is cheap; it's always easier said than done. so why don't i just admit i will spend the rest of this friggin long weekend being sick (because i have the flu, thank you very much!), being sad over a close friend that was just sacked, and, the big one, trying to find a way out of some affairs of the heart that i just can't seem to work my way around. don't bother hitting my head with stone. i can manage on my own. lol!

freshly baked hair... lol!

2008-11-26T13:01:00.006+08:00

this should be good to look back to when the powers of the heater, the iron and the hair rebonding products fade. what a loooooong day at the parlor it was! i probably have to think twice when someone tells me to go through it again (especially now that my waves are starting to come back, at least on the right side. too soon, i know! told ya hair's got a mind of its own!)

dax, sharon, moi, ivy

Your Woman by White Town

2008-11-20T12:07:00.001+08:00

so i was watching daria (daria, being the greatest cartoon show ever with the awesomest soundtrack!!) one day when this song took over me. an awesome song by a guy, written from a girl's perspective. wheew! this is one brave act of disparagement from the male camp. hahaa!!!

Just tell me what you've got to say to me,
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth,
It comes as no surprise at all you see,
So cut the crap and tell me that we're through.

Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don't even know you're being unkind,
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away,
Boy you can't play me that way.

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

When I saw my best friend yesterday,
She said she never liked you from the start,
Well me, I wish that I could claim the same,
But you always knew you held my heart.
And you're such a charming handsome man,
Now I think I finally understand,
Is it in your genes?, I don't know,
But I'll soon find out, that's for sure,
Why did you play me this way?.

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

Well I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you,
I could never be your woman.

shawarma blues

2008-11-17T15:59:00.004+08:00

there used to be this great beef shawarma place at the ground level at emall. i bought my first shawarma there and i got hooked..no, addicted.. after taking just the first bite. i remember going there once a week, or as often as i needed the "shawarma fix." their shawarma tasted "clean" and it had no raw meat aftertaste at all. made me smile each time i had some. then my sky turned gray when we went there one day and saw that the store was closed. all that's left was a sign board with the store name (which i can't remember) and the picture of the shawarma-eating genie (their logo). such a harsh day!

it's been over a year and i have not tasted another shawarma that deserves my approval. i need my shawarma fix and nothing else will do the trick except that store with the shawarma-eating genie. :(

or maybe it's about time i consider other options! take me to your best shawarma kitchen!

they finally paid a visit!

2008-11-14T15:36:00.002+08:00

finally, a sign that my australian application did not go to waste!!! two Australian agents from the Aussie Embassy showed up at the office yesterday morning to check me out. i didn't get the chance to meet them, though. i was already off work and already on the way home. i had no idea what just happened until i reported for duty last night and a few managers came over and filled me in. the aussies spoke with the HR peeps most of the time. i hope they don't decide to deny me again this time. lol!

i really should be catching a plane to malaysia today!

2008-11-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

but thanks to my job, i get to waste my aunt's really good three-week vacation present and stay so i can be exploited (two working saturdays this month... unpaid!).

yes!! we are such happy campers at our workplace!

11/11 and already i have the planner

2008-11-12T12:44:00.008+08:00

i was sitting quietly in my torture chamber that is also my work cube when i was told it's planner time at starbucks again. it was the 4th of november.

nope, i don't have the card yet and i haven't earned any sticker, not even this instant. but, just a week after the cards were released, i already got the planner :):):)

it's a gift, of course. a very early Christmas present from the same person who gave me the oh-so-awesome starbucks planners last year and the year before that. this year's is not as fancy, though; not leather-bound, no free little cards. but it is still a winner, and it offers great thoughts each time you flip the page on to the next month. this one became my instant favorite:

"What we need is less than what we think we want."

Well, what can i say! :P Thanks for the planner and the free drinks, Boss! Until next year! :)

kickers. hehehe

2008-11-04T12:57:00.001+08:00

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family pictures - Family pedigree

Daria.... my fave!

2008-10-26T18:40:00.002+08:00

the girl:

the show:

while i was very sick and quarantined.....

2008-10-25T18:08:00.005+08:00

Where is your boy tonight?
what boy?

Name something you did yesterday?
went to work

Last person you text messaged?
rachel

What kind of phone do you have?
the kind that allows you to make phone calls, send messages, record and play media, make notes, read books, take snapshots of your cheating partner..hihihi

What color are your eyes?
brown, but they look black

What are you doing tomorrow?
put my newly acquired cooking skill to the test

Do you know anyone named Betsy?
that's what my mama calls me sometimes (i don't know why)

What color is your hair?
black as ebony

Do you remember singing any songs as a kid?
sure i had my bah bah black sheep days

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
like 10 minutes ago

Do you play an instrument?
air guitar ;)

Are you allergic to anything?
crustaceans, ciggy smoke, perfume and other scented stuff, self-righteous people

Is anyone jealous of you?
they're jealous about my living in a sick sad world? i don't think so

Where were you 1 hour ago?
kitchen... eating...

Where were you 8 hours ago?
drugstore

Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend?
something to that effect

Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
it's perpetually messy and unmanageable. most strands look straight though

Do you miss the way things used to be?
hell yes

What was your last conversation on the phone about?
with lorie... was checking if she's meeting us or not

Would you ever live with anyone on your top friends?
why the h-e-l-l not!

Have you held hands with anyone in the past three months?
i don't hold hands... it's gay!

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
i bet! i'm misunderstood most of the time

Do you regret doing anything this week?
overspending

Are you growing apart from someone close?
unfortunately yes

Anything sore on your body?
my arms. and i'm probably the first one to die from headache

Do you think things will change in the next few months?
i hope so, but i ain't betting my life on it

Did anything disappoint you today?
yes! jerk's made me die a thousand deaths for the past four years

What is bothering you right now?
just being taken for granted is really getting into me now... finally!

If you could go to any place right now, where would you go?
anywhere where people are happy and dreams come true

Does anyone call you baby?
nope

If you're being extremely quiet, what does that mean?
either i don't get it or i just friggin don't care

Are you a patient person?
i wish!

What do you do when you're nervous?
(other people's observation) i touch my nose

Do you want someone back in your life?
i probably do but don't wanna admit it

How are you currently feeling?
ignored and small and angry and stupid. just shitty

Are you happy with life?
i'm not one of those lucky ones. i'm pretty damn sure life's not happy with me either.

What were you doing this morning at 7AM?
finishing up at work

Where were you Saturday?
today is saturday and i'm home. very sick and broke. lol!

Did you ever lose a friend?
they're not lost... just out of touch. i'll find them one day

Have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn't?
not that i remember....

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
depends who that friggin someone is. poor guy. lol!

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
yes i have

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
hell yeah! i'm friends with all of mine.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
just today. it has something to do with the useless person i have come to love, as always.

Are you ticklish?
i am. i also find it easy to kick the crotches of those that tickle me

Are you someone's best friend?
i sure hope so

Are you a morning person or a night person?
i've been working night shift for 3.5 yrs. watyathnk?

Who has your myspace password?
me and me only

How is your heart lately?
it's been tortured but it's still pumping blood like a pro

Are you a jealous person?
yes i am, though i try to hide it and succeed most of the time

If you could see one person right now, who would it be?
james

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else?
goodness yes!

What is the weather like today?
it's okay

Whose bed did you sleep in last?
mine

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
yep

How's life?
hard

Have you ever been in love?
yes. it's one of life's great tragedy for me

so i read.....

2008-10-09T13:26:00.004+08:00

"it is unethical to wear white on someone else's wedding."

they may have a point, but what makes more sense to me at this very point in my God-forsaken life is that it is rude to go to someone else's wedding when you don't even believe in weddings in the first place.

see, people who wed are those that claim to be in love. people that are in love are in a trance. they are not in their normal minds. some claim to be in a better state, but it is not the normal state of mind nonetheless. they're jaded. to some extent, crazed. and then somewhere between the veins of the heart and the seats of the brain snap. like some wires losing contact. suddenly, they're no longer "in love." and then all hell breaks loose -- everything goes down the drain.....

i'm not really a supporter of wedding vows that become empty in time. love is a form of deception. it does not require to be acknowledged by a supposedly sacred ritual of a wedding ceremony. you guys really shouldn't bother.

so, would you still like the presence of some angry, bittered soul like me at your "special day?" don't make me come....i don't want to be rude.

this time today.....

2008-09-10T15:00:00.000+08:00

... my best friend is getting married. and instead of being there by her side wishing her off, i am at home in bed and even failing to fall asleep (probably the guilt). it is downright disturbing how we talk about always being there for each other and i can't even make it to witness her big day. i just feel terrible! she is in such a life-changing event and her "best friend" chair is empty, thanks to me. definitely one of those days when it's hard to live with myself.

in all fairness to me, she just told me about it a few hours before the ceremony. given my geographic location and work schedule, i just can't make it on such a short notice. so i should really forgive myself.

forgive myself. yes, i'll do that. and when i finally do, i'll ask her forgiveness again....

TwiLighT SERiEs

2008-09-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

so, maybe i'm a little too old to be caught up in this vampire love story that is meant for young adults. but it all happened too quick. i was at the ladies room at work one day (or night) complaining about my red eyes and a dear friend joked about the possibility of my turning into a vampire "just like bella." bella, according to her, is this clumsy teenage mortal who fell unconditionally and irrevocably in love with a vampire in a delightful vampire series by stephenie meyer. before i knew it, i was reading the series like a maniac! the treatment is not all that impressive and the writing is not all that great, but it was good enough to get me hooked. something about it is just so hard to ignore, like you can't stand to not know about. obviously, i am not the only one who just can't escape this vampire hype. i share the same fundness with one hundred million people who's even had it worse -- the role-playing, website-hosting, fan club people. so they made a movie. and like the teens are not aching and lusting for it already, it is set to come out in december! only four agonizing months! by the team the movie is out, the die-hards would know all the lines. lol!

whatever happened to my august 2008?

2008-09-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

was that my birthday month that just passed??? goodness, i'm already 25 yrs and a month (almost) old! haha! what a painful number... 25. i ain't gettin any younger. is this why i'm feeling all weak that i almost spent my birthday at the hospital?

not entirely. see, i learned the hard way: stress is a risk factor for hypertension. i strongly believe this is where all these stomach pains are coming from. supergirl finally falls down after trying to get by with stressful work and stressful home. it didn't really leave, the pain. it's been with me since that one sad day when they sent me to the hospital for fears that it might be appendicitis. thank goodness they're wrong. the sad part is, i don't really know what's going on. the doctors can't seem to tell either. so my father begins reading all these medical books and comes up with all these hypotheses. the latest and strongest belief he has is that the dysfunction is all related to PMS. "hormonal imbalance can cause all sorts of damage that will eventually become fatal," he'd say. so he got me on this program of strict diet, exercise, and oh-so-many vitamins! there's some i need to take before meals, some more with meals, and even some more after meals. there's just way too many pills, it's driving me crazy! he does this to all members of the family, though. so i'm not the only one going wacko.

maybe it's the guilt. i hope not, cuz if drinking more than 20 tablets a day is an effort i need to do to make him feel better then i don't think it's worth all that swallowing. vitamins are a good thing, yes i'm there, but that is out of the question. there has got to be some other way to show remorse.....

.... or maybe he really just wants me to be un-"sickly."

tsk, i am just being my usual self, always doubting and over-analyzing. i am already stressful on my own. i do not need more. and the past month, i focused on trying to feel better. i am 25 now so i hope that makes me experienced enough to know how to handle this better. touche!

happy pills

2008-08-20T21:37:00.000+08:00

these are the after-meals...

a guh-reat desert house...

2008-07-20T18:19:00.005+08:00

sucks to be me

2008-07-18T17:45:00.001+08:00

i've been meaning to write for the longest time. i'd take out a pen and paper, but somehow i end up writing nothing. back in the day, i'd just scribble about the things that pissed me off and i could fill out five pages in less than an hour. i had a lot of things to say and a lot of complaints. complaints complaints complaints!! now everytime i want to write, i come up with nothing. could it be that i just don't have nothing to complain about?

absolutely not! in fact, i have a lot to tell and definitely more than a lot to complain about. i have been a victim of theft, been getting less and less control over my weight, been getting short breaths, been experiencing weird headaches and my budget is getting tight. i've also been dealing with a failing plan, a lost brother, a cheating father and an angry mother. i am typically drowning in hardship, to put it mildly. i want to put these all into words, but everytime i try i'd think better of it and change my mind. no one wants to document a parent's cheating moment.... not if one can help it. but this is really beginning to take its toll on me. i'd be on a bus and wonder if i'd still get home to both parents. i still keep a straight face though. a straight face and a straight mind (i hope!). and i stay close. the blows are harder, but maybe this way i will be able to understand why it happened and why it is happening again.

common errors in english

2008-07-05T07:26:00.003+08:00

i thought this was entertainingly helpful!
http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html

today.....

2008-07-04T17:44:00.003+08:00

I lost my cellphone. God bless the person who took it. Maybe he needs money to buy medicine for a sick relative, or to send his child to school, in which case, I am glad to be of help.

Goodbye, cellphone. I will definitely hold on to the things you left behind -- the memories, the pictures, the videos, the headphones and the charger (lol).

are these what i think they are???

2008-06-28T14:27:00.001+08:00

i think so. But only God knows....

alexandra simone having quite a day @ mcdonald's

2008-06-15T20:17:00.000+08:00

so you were won over by the super good looks and the great dedication to his art and business...

2008-05-29T10:48:00.003+08:00

... and then you saw him dance.... ;/

Venk - Sha Sha De Yong Qi (English Version) lyrics

2008-05-28T12:59:00.001+08:00

The fiercest thing is that I have foolish courage
If there aren't miracles, I will make one for you
Good or bad, they're all mine, I will fight to the end
You allow me to believe that I can

Dreams, held tightly in the palm of my hand
People are full of self esteem as they move forwards
Hope, kept in my chest
The heart will learn to say no, rejecting the weak

Because of you, next to my side
Because there is a rainbow in my heart

You are the brightest star
Deeply attracting all my strength
I'm certain that you are my one and only

The fiercest thing is that I have foolish courage
If there aren't miracles, I will make one for you
Good or bad, they're all mine, I will fight to the end
You allow me to believe that I can

Hurts, allows me to be different
I cried, more mature now, my determination has awaken
Hope, kept in my chest
My heart will learn to say no, rejecting the weak

Because of you, next to my side
Because there is a rainbow in my heart

You are the brightest star
Deeply attracting all my strength
I'm certain that you are my one and only

The fiercest thing is that I have foolish courage
If there aren't miracles, I will make one for you
Good or bad, they're all mine, I will fight to the end
You allow me to believe that I can

Me who was once hurt, thought the world only held loneliness
You found my smile, your gentleness helped me stay strong til the end

come november......

2008-05-28T12:22:00.005+08:00

i will have a flight to catch, a vacation to enjoy, a job to save, and a life to live.

in order for me to enjoy them to the fullest though, i would need to use my thinking cap really good and deal with this "creature" - the head is here and the tail is in november. how i treat the head today seriously determines the tail's behavior. i know it will whack me real bad if i made an error now..... and though it is, for the most part, a happy event, it is really stressing me out big time. ufffff!!!!

ok, enough!

why don't i just get some lovin....

blend....
add gradient....
add sepia effect.... ;);)

getting to know you....

2008-05-27T10:58:00.002+08:00

juicy article about God's Fave....

http://tvbgirl.blogspot.com/2008/03/face-to-face-im-not-prince-wu-zun.html

falling in love again..... this time with chunzy hehehe :):):)

2008-05-12T15:46:00.007+08:00

say what again!

2008-04-28T07:50:00.009+08:00

1) What is the hardest feeling for you?
* admitting you're wrong after you've sworn with your life you were right
* telling you don't love someone when you do
* seeing a loved one suffer
* going to work on a weekend when you know you won't be paid

2) What do you want to receive on your birthday?
* not really used to receiving gifts... i always feel weird when i do

3) Reach your hand out to the right. What do you touch?
* the ancient speaker

4) What time did you sleep last night?
* haven't slept at all!

5) What's the wallpaper on your computer?
* jamez. hehehe :D

6) What can you hear besides the computer?
* the busy highway

7) Do you agree to the saying "to forgive is to forget?"
* hell naw!! only fools forget

8) When was the last time tears started to roll down your cheek?
* why didn't you just say cry??? *bitchin*
to answer that though, i think it was yesterday

9) What/Who makes you happy?
* this question makes me sad!

10) What makes you frustrated?
* this question makes me angry!

11) What are your favorite books?
* i read pretty much everything. of course i don't finish them all. i particularly hate it when the author is too flowery. don't get me wrong though, i respect the fact that it's good writing (sometimes), but four pages to explain how a dress is flowing???? :/

12) What would you like to have right "at this moment" which seems totally impossible?
* a red hummer h3 or a black chevy impala

13) Who will you turn to if you have a huge prob?
* depends on what "huge problem" you're talking about.

14) What's your favorite song at the moment?
* bleeding love, though i am kind of getting tired of it already

15) What was the last song that kept ringing on your mind last night before you sleep?
* melt with you, only because it was playing in the movie i was watching

16) What was the best event that happened last year?
* the C family reunion... first one yet

17)Where have you been today?
* haven't been anywhere yet, it's morning

18) Last thing you ate?
* chicharon :*

19)wHo are you with ryt now?? are they cool?
* alone... yes, i'm cool :P

20) Have you gone to the beach just w/ your buddies?
* yes

21) Do you love sunsets?
* u kidding?? i worship them!

23) What are your wishes for your birthday?
* good health
* unending happiness for me and my family
* australian visa (give it to me already!!!)

24) Who do you wanna be w/ on the day of your birthday?
* definitely those that matter. i have come to know the people i consider "friends" for the past decade aren't really more than just people i know

25) Have you ever felt that you've been taken for granted?
* like 80% of the time

26) thing/s you regret?
* the huge mistakes came back with huge lessons so i don't think i'll ever regret them. sorry!

27) Is there anything else you want to do besides answering this survey?
* yea, take a shower :P

28) What's the most important sentence/s that lingers in your mind right now?
* "if you live in misery, you're doing it on purpose"
your life is what you make of it.

29) cookies n' cream or double dutch?
* double dutch... my mom's favorite ;)

30) Chocolate cake or brazo de mercedes?
* the better-than-sex chocolate cake. hahaha!!! :P

31 Who's the last person you texted?
* sharon

32). What was the last text message you received?
* reply ni sharon :D

36) how do you feel right now?
* broke, broken, and continuously breaking

37) whats your plan next week?
* go to my Oyong's birthday church thing as planned (i hope i find a dress for this)

38) missing someone?
* hell yea!!! not just one... one million!

39) what's her/his role in your life
* most of them, family. the other one sticking like a sore thumb (and i mean the only one NOT family) is you-know-what

40) Have you hurt somebody in the past?
* i'm pretty sure i have

41) the person who loves u most or the person u love most?
* this should be one and the same. otherwise, i'd rather be alone

42) in a relationship, rebound dating, single, whatever?
* super single :)

.....

2008-04-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

"i love you, but enough is enough."

some borrowed words i say to myself sometimes. they always come off weak. insincere. empty. but i'm going to say it again. i'm going to say it again and again until i actually start to mean it. and then, i'll be saying it for the last time.....

let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees.....

2008-04-25T16:51:00.003+08:00

the birds poop on your head and the bees, well, does it just suck if they lived inside your ears???? lol!

that happy song just doesn't cut it for me anymore. the flowers trigger sinusitis, the trees aren't just as many, and the moon up above... now what about it?

...and the thing called love.. WHAT ABOUT IT???? ppfffttttt!!!!

****someone is really smokin mad****

welcome to the secret world of forced labor....

2008-04-25T16:23:00.003+08:00

to work on a saturday is one thing....
to work on a saturday with no pay is definitely .... *god stop me from badmouthing*

uuugggghhhh!!!!!!

smile... smile... smile... SMIIIIIILE!!!!

leona lewis

2008-04-15T10:47:00.009+08:00

okay... so i just spent the past two hours falling deeper and deeper in love with the talents that this brit singer leona lewis is sharing to the world. man, she breathes tunes!! and she's only 23 for crying out loud! i so feel sorry for kelly clarkson whose winning piece "a moment like this" was revived by the awesome leona, and sadly, in ways more than one, miss lewis scrubbed miss clarkson. there's just no way another star can survive the brightness of this star, leona.... especially not at this point in her career, AND especially if you're singing the same song :P

so she's Britain's idol, but she's starting to dominate the US music scene with that catchy, awfully bloody sad song 'bleeding love.' when i first heard it, i thought it was ALMOST monotonous but somehow amazed at how every word has a distinct tune. then it was easy to see why this won so many hearts. i wonder how singer jesse mccartney felt when leona brought 'bleeding love' to the number one spot. he and onerepublic frontman originally wrote this song for his album but later decided it was not fitting for him so they gave it away. tsk tsk! and so the singing goddess leona made the best of it by making a video wearing a £100,000 Dolce & Gabbana crystal-encrusted dress and wowing the whole of Europe.

what is a little off though is that they made a US version of the video and it is, in a lot of bad points, a mediocre compared to the original UK version. for one, the dress that can feed a small country is no longer there (LOL), and the cameraman made her look something like a horse! maybe he has something against "good angles," haha!

leona is one supermodel material though. she is most beautiful without much makeup. now, if you'll excuse me. i think i have just fully downloaded her second single, "better in time." time i dig it!!!! ;)

i cut my hair last week....

2008-04-14T05:07:00.005+08:00

... and the first week of my short-hair life was just a little better than hell (which, by normal human standards, is still a friggin' mess!). truth be told... my hair has a mind of its own. it doesn't set as directed, always hard to manage, and the strands are as thick as a tree branch. haha! it looks big with all that thickness and fly-aways now that i can't bring it all to a ponytail. so until it grows a little longer, i'll live life looking like those heads Super Mario likes to step on. har har! :P

consolation: there's more to life than bad hair days.... :D

blooper

2008-04-06T04:18:00.002+08:00

Taking a second language as if your own and doing it at night is not at all times easy.... especially when coffee just won't do the job of keeping you alert. This is my worst blooper yet....

*after we're done with her main concern, which ate up about 4 minutes. rep, that is me, is a little tired now*
caller: also, i would like to find out about your pricing program
me: sure! thank you for your interest. i can send you a fact sheet if you could provide me your email address
caller: *gave the email* would there be an expiry date for this service?
me: no ma'am, the price is yours to control if you have this service.
caller: great! that's pretty much what i wanted to know anyways.
me: right, so shall i send you the fuck-shit still?

(my hair stood when i heard myself say that, so i opted for a comeback....)

me: i'm sorry, ma'am. should i send you the fact sheet steeeeel?

(.... just to murder another word. hahahah!!!!)

So, there I was making a complete fool (an obscene one too) of myself. I'm lucky the caller was Asian. She completely understood the slip-out. Hehehe :P

happy birthday, mama!!!!

2008-03-25T18:03:00.000+08:00

the real world and the animated world collide

2008-03-23T06:59:00.005+08:00

... and i have to say both worlds have collided well in this laughable, exceptionally adorable movie. i can't imagine the time spent digitally to bring this film to perfection, i mean, doesn't it take ages to edit just a single picture??? try a full-length movie! pheww!! but of course Disney has more than enough manpower (and budget) to do whatever they want with any production so it is only right that this is perfected.

the story is about a cartoon maiden who is about to marry a handsome prince whose stepmother is a jealous b****. for fear of losing her throne, the wicked stepmother sends the poor girl to a world with "no happy endings." popping out of a manhole, there she is in NY! LOL! that thought alone tickles me. A manhole, of all places. probably an irony of how we perceive fairy tales and happy endings these days.

as you watch the movie, you would notice familiar scenes from the disney princess films we have grown up with but have not necessarily outgrown from. you have an eternally optimistic sweet girl who bursts into songs whenever she feels like it, and a few animals and people that actually sing with her. lol! Amy Adams, the actress playing sing-song girl, turned out to be one enchanting, VERY talented actress. she is very animated -the facial expressions, mannerisms, graceful movements, and innocent behaviors of a Disney princess has been portrayed oh so perfectly by Miss Adams. She is the reason why I am so hooked to this film. just had to see her frolicking throughout the movie 100 thousand times! funny how i used to hate her, haha! of course, susan sarandon also stars in the film... for about 15 minutes, hehe. but i've always believed in her great capacity as an actress so i should really watch this movie 200 thousand times. and,oh, the guys are delectable. one must not discount the handsomeness of patrick dempsey and james marsden, so make that 300 thousand times. lol!

the year before.....

2008-03-17T13:54:00.005+08:00

if i were to blog about a happy day and had to choose one, i'd choose the 17th of march, 2007. yep, this day, last year. it was a saturday. usually a day for movies and food trips with friends. but i went home early that day. i was planning to clean my room. right after showering, i turned on the computer for some music and started clearing out the mess all over the place.

but a sudden sound from the computer stopped me. i had a yahoo message. i checked and before i knew it, i was smiling like a lottery winner. maybe even more! the message was from someone i seriously liked... the one i thought i would never talk to ever again. i was sent straight up to cloud number 9! the message just said "hey," as how most conversations with this guy would start. i can't remember what we were talking about, but we were chatting online for 20 minutes. i was very happy. to make things better, my phone suddenly rang and there he was on the line. live! dang!!! :):):) i was in a point of happiness i've never been before! i was hearing bells and the poor guy had to repeat whatever he was saying. lol! he told me he was at his best friend's house and that he was the only one awake. of course! it was probably 2am in AZ at the time. but personally, i felt a little sad for the guy. he just lost someone who, according to his blog, he "loved" so he probably had issues going to sleep. then i felt worse because it occured to me that he was probably on the phone with me because there was nothing else left to do with his time. but then, i was too happy just talking to him that i shrugged the bad idea off. he was very nice, would always take the time to explain things (whatever it was that we talked about) to me. he said he could tell when i wasn't getting it, cuz otherwise, i would have tons of comments. lol! the many years of talking to this person (started talking to him in 2004) must have really taught him a thing or two. i decided his voice was nice.. the kind i want to hear every morning. heheh :) his laughter was goofy and sounded really cute, too. i wanna remember it, but i can't. not anymore. it's been too long. too long that i shouldn't be blogging about it. too long that i should just leave it in the memory box in good fate and good heart. yep! that is probably the best thing to do cuz, in an nutshell, there's really nothing too precious about a guy that made you go through pain double-whammie style. first, you had to see him go off with someone. then, you had to see him deal with the pain of losing that someone. and if he called because he was too damn sad, i was being a shark feeding on other people's miseries. so there's nothing really special about that either.

but, it was the most divine happiness i have ever encountered. how can i possibly sweep it under the rag? i can't help but think about it, dwell on it from time to time. long for it. wish for it. i fear i may never have something like it again. but at any rate, i really should just be thankful it happened. this day last year, i got really really lucky!

movies galore

2008-03-15T12:04:00.002+08:00

A few weeks ago, I was complaining about not having the chance to watch a full movie. I felt bad for myself, so I indulged. Now, I feel better!

27 Dresses - A story about a nice lady who has to endure the torture of helping her sister to marry the man she secretly loves. The storyline is kinda like a cross between How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days and In Her Shoes but is focused more on the i-love-him-he-loves-her concept. The director gave the script a lot of hearty touches, and the acting is definitely not second-rate. Very well executed. I fell in love with James Marsden in the end. Hehe :)

The Eye - Another one of those Japanese horror hits that were Hollywood-ized. This one has Jessica Alba playing the lead role, the blind Sidney Wells. I was told that the Japanese version is one of the scariest horror flicks around, but this one is a piece of candy! This is probably because I have been exposed to "ghost whisperer" ideas that I actually felt a little irritated whenever Sidney ran away from the ghosts. I personally think Sidney's reaction to the supernatural things she saw very much fit her role. She's been blind for so long, and when she was able to see, and was actually seeing more, she chose to put out all the lights and hibernate in her room. Kudos to the writer!! I wonder what I've made of this idea had i been the one writing it......

The Game Plan - A story of a self-centered guy who turned out to have a long-lost daughter. Oh gush! This has got to be one of the most adorable films i have seen in a very very long time. I am amazed at how The Rock can be so capable of things gentle! I used to watch him on WWF until the wee hours of the morning. I absolutely did not mind watching him play out his softy side. Very good! The father and daughter chemistry between Madison Pettis and The Rock was so well-established and the emotions were built-up so well that you actually feel connected to these characters by the time you reach the second half. This movie has heart, fun, hunkiness, cuteness, and great music to match. Got nothing but burning love for this one!!! :)

P.S. I Love You - This is one of the stories you watch about on Oprah -- dead loved one leaving a bunch of messages for the surviving relative/s. A hearty novel that was brought to life by Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler. As I've mentioned before, this kind of emotional heaviness is best handled in the hands of a Pinoy, but oh well. This is good enough. I thought the couple's fight at the start of the movie was hilarious and successfully drove across one very important point.... Women are confusing, but that is why men love them. ;)

Stardust - This was highly recommended by a trusted source. My verdict? Well, I could have appreciated this movie a thousand times more if Claire Dane's voice was not too high-pitched. I love the scenes with her not talking!! But, okay, in fairness to the power cast, this movie has a high level of greatness. The special effects must be worth millions! The love story is unique, I actually envy it! The kind that makes me want to fall in love and fall out of love at the same time. LOL!!! I'll probably watch this one again, but not anytime soon. The technical people should have really done something about Claire's unusually pitchy voice.

this is heaven-sent!

2008-03-03T15:48:00.002+08:00

did i lose my love to someone better? heck, only the angels know. but i have found something that can make movie life (do i even have that, lol) a lot better!!! :)

http://alkaos.com/

finding out the hard way.....

2008-03-03T15:04:00.007+08:00

some things (or people) just keep slipping right out of your hands no matter how tight you grip. there are just some things in this life that are not meant for you no matter how hard you work for them. fate is sometimes selfish. the worst part is that we get to realize these things at the end where taking it is harder. but seriously, there is no point in beating yourself up for anything. this is why we learn to let go. it makes it easier if we admit that some things are just beyond us. that we couldn't have done it any better because it is just not part of our life's blueprint. it was not for us to keep or hold on to. it was just an aftermath of an accident. maybe you were at the wrong place at the wrong time once. or maybe you were right where you needed to be, but you did not see what you had to because you were looking at the wrong direction. simple mishaps like that. but you know how simple mistakes can take much of a bigger toll on people. the punishment, as aerosmith put it, doesn't always fit the crime. so you bear an extreme form of ache as you finally let go. let it slip freely like water dripping out of your hands. and you put on a mask. you smile.

Gloomy

2008-02-28T15:00:00.001+08:00

That's me today.

a celebration of friendship

2008-02-21T08:47:00.002+08:00

walloww...... wallowwww.....

2008-02-19T15:56:00.005+08:00

i wonder what God will say. will he look down on me and:
a. get all irritated and say, "it's been ages and you're still crying over that same old thing????"
b. be supportive and lay a hand on my shoulder as he'd say, "hang in there, child. you are almost at the miracle point."
c. be bossy and say, "i gave you enough brains... you figure this one out!"

see, this is what's so f**** up about hanging on. you don't want to let go, because you just might be five minutes away from the miracle. or you may hang on too long only to find out there was nothing there for you in the beginning nor the end. huh!!! so, if it makes it all a bit better, walloww... walloowwwwww....

love is in the air

2008-02-13T13:48:00.002+08:00

i noticed him because he looked like someone i hold so dear. my my, he had my guyness's stare, this guy on the bus. it was amazing. infatuating, even! but not for long. in a matter of seconds, i realized he was not alone. seated safely beside him was a young mom and a cute little baby with all her pinkness. by that, i mean pink baby carrier, pink blankie, pink cap, pink bag... pink, pink, pink! lol!!! then, the baby started to get cranky. that was no surprise, as that is what babies do. what surprised me though, was how the young dad (yes, the guy i was crushing on earlier) calmed her down. with all the tenderness he possessed, he tapped the baby's leg, blew air across her face, and then gave a sweet thankful smile to the mother. wow!!! magical! that made me want to freeze in that very moment. i needed more time to enjoy it, to realize it was actually happening, to take it all in. never did i see so much love revealing itself in such a short time in such a simple action. definitely one of the moments you can't really put into words.... and that was not even my moment! lol! with my dark glasses, i was the outsider looking in. but this helped me realize that when you love with all your heart, you are celebrating humanity in the grandest way. so thank you, guyness-look-alike and family for the lesson! i wish us all lots of love on Valentine's Day and all the days......

a prayer for v-day.... hahahah!!!

2008-02-12T10:33:00.000+08:00

i completely agree....

2008-02-09T10:38:00.000+08:00

living dead girl day

2008-02-08T13:34:00.000+08:00

today, i achieved the ultimate dead girl look without even trying. caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and whoa! funny to admit this, but i actually freaked out! lol! only for a few seconds, though. then i was pleased. an effortless zombie look! wow! the scary bulging blackness under the eyes. the goth. the evilness. the deep shadow of darkness. the creeps! all that achieved without the aid of cosmetics. my work buddy was very impressed. she called it evil possession.

i call it self exploitation by serious sleep deprivation.

see, after work yesterday, i intended to go to LTO (land transportation office...oohh, the infamous!) to see if i could get some of those certificates i need to finally score that driver's license. the plan was just to work on it for one to two hours. when i got there, i got trigger-happy that i actually started processing the damn application form. to start, you have to pay. dat alone already took me almost four hours. my gully! four precious hours.... you can cook a feast in four hours, finish two movies, clean a whole house, make a baby (hahaha), but you definitely can't pay your driving fees in four hours. the line is THAT long! plus, i live on the other side of the planet so that pretty much exhausted me beyond words and left me just a little over an hour sleeping time. the result was, dang, a walking horror movie! har har!

so, just a tip, do not lose your LTO receipts. they need to see them again when you upgrade your permits.

There goes January....

2008-01-31T11:38:00.000+08:00

So we are at the last day of the first month of the year. Wow!! Didn't we just welcome the New Year yesterday? No? Was it not yesterday? Aww!! Sure feels like it.

Time flies. Yes, it does. With just a wink and already that's a whole month spent! 2008, I observe, will be one heck of a fast year. And what have I done with this promising year so far? What have I done with my life, with my own time, for my own personal gain? Are there changes and if at all any, are they working to my advantage?

Work-wise, unfortunately, the answers to those questions are nada, nothing, no, nada, nothing and another no. Sure, things have changed, but not for the better. I work longer hours now and my workload has increased about three hundred times. LOL!!! What's up with all the post pubbers resigning anyways? The tasks they leave behind are handed out to us, but not their wages! har har!! It's definitely a tough, challenging time. And you know what they say... When the going gets tough, the tough gets going! *winks*winks*

Nothing much has changed outside of work, though. I'm still single (lol) and still getting that unnecessary push from people or else, as they put it, "you will be returned unused." Hahaha!! I'd say it's a good point, but this is so much better than being returned abused! :)

I still eat as much as I used to. Sometimes, even more. LOL!!

I still love the Grand Canyon Skywalk, still wanna row the glass-bottom boats in Pensacola, and still wanna marry Travis Pastrana (j/k LOL!).

Pretty much, I'm still the same Phoebe. Hell, I still have the same hairstyle as I did in grade 6! LOL! So as the year moves on and as we move on with it, I wish to see some improvements, not just with my hair (i've accepted the bad hair life sentence, hehe) but with life in general. Though, I have to be honest, I do not like it that I am always busy with my job that I do not even have time to finish a book, but if this is the way to improve, so be it!

backtracking.....

2008-01-29T12:11:00.000+08:00

This is an oh so senti writing which I did on the bus sometime on the first week of January. I found the paper and thought I'd document it digitally. Hehe.... :)

Dang, this is so hard! I miss everybody! TERRIBLY! One minute, the house is full-packed, now there's hardly a noise. Where are those regular sneezing exercises (sinusitis attacks, ha ha ha) from Mommy Connie? Or Nanay's chatty voice while taking her morning bath? Or Dai2x and Deyya's heavy footsteps as they climb up the stairs? Or Mommy Cerlie's house-rocking laughter? Or Shay's winks as she gives out a German rendition of Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer? Or Kaycee's giggles while she oh so joyously plays the pito-pito labud game? Or Daryl's constant request for a hamburger?

Huh!!! This is the worst part when you have a bunch of family visiting over. Just when you are used to having them around, they start to up and leave. Then you have to deal with them not being around... which is unfair. And I'm kinda dealing with it now!

The Backstreet Boys were very smart when they belted out a question with a tune.... "Show me the meaning of being lonely!"

Schen and Sidney

2008-01-25T11:39:00.000+08:00

you're crazy, but i didn't mind..... cuz i'm always crazier! har har! miss ya both aplenty!!

say what now????

2008-01-15T15:17:00.000+08:00

[1.] Where was the first time you ever kissed the last person you kissed?
i don't remember

[2.] What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
brody's order was shipped finally! i spent two friggin months trackin it. now i can finally rest. huh!

[3.] How many TRUE best friends do you have?
i'd say 2, though they have their own issues right now

[4.] Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
really now, who would want to get up early???

[5.] Tell me about the shirt you're wearing?
faded blue-ish shirt. it's probably 100 yrs old. lol!

[6.] What would you change about your life right now?
i'd really like it if i could stop being a vampyr

[7.] Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
cry over what's true and eat a bag of cheetos afterwards

[9.] What's on your bedroom floor right now?
dust and god knows what else! haha!

[10.] Who's the last person you got into a argument with?
an OC author asking me to predict the future. it was at work, relax!

[11.] Do you trust people?
not easily

[12.] If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move?
the island of capri

[13.] My favorite number?
8

[14.] Could you go a day without breathing?
i'd like to see you try

[15.] How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
not that much, but i sure don't want to wake up next to a nightmare. lol

[16.] Do you like anybody right now?
maybe

[17.] When was the last time you had your hair cut?
a few months back

[18.] Would you rather be mad or sad?
mad... i get over it in minutes. sadness can take ages!!

[19.] Does it take a lot to make you cry?
depends

[20.] Whats the best feeling in the world?
having something you think you can't have.

[21.] Are you close with your mom?
i am not her favorite, but yep!

[22.] Are your parents strict?
yes it gets annoying at times

[23.] Do you tell your parents everything?
hell naw!! haha :P

[25.] Name one fear you have.
failure

[27.] Does the thought of marriage scare you?
sometimes

[28.] How many kids do you want?
undecided

[29.] What's your favorite color to wear?
black

[30.] Who was the last person in your bedroom?
ermm... me?

[31.] What are you doing today?
just trying to get by just like the rest of you

[32.] Would you rather be rich & sad or poor & happy?
rich and happy..hehe :P

[35.] Do you get bored easily?
not really. i'm highly trained to entertain myself. lol!

[36.] What's something that someone can do that really bothers you?
when they start to talk shit about the people i care about, now, that's when i'm ticked off

[37.] Did you ever want to change your name when you were younger?
yes. all because everybody says it wrong

[38.] Do you wish you were famous?
nope

[39.] Do you make a wish at 11:11?
nope, lol

[41.] Who's the last text message you received from who and what did it say?
from someone i don't know saying good afternoon

[42.] What are you freakishly obsessed with 3's, everything is counted in 3's?
i am not obsessed in that way, thank god!

[43.] What's your favorite song at the moment?
in this life. too bad it's not on myspace :(

[44.] Do you like going to the mall to shop or just shopping online?
i do not enjoy shopping very much

[45.] Can music affect your mood?
sometimes

[46.] What piercings do you want?
none. i want tattoos dude... TATTOOS!!!

[47.] Have you ever been in a cave?
yes. we took a pic and it came out real weird... like ghostly weird. yep yep!

[48.] What's bothering you?
i am bothered that the ladies' room at work is haunted. i don't want no dead girl whispering her name when i'm doing my thing! it also hurts to know that sidneygurl is leaving the company. with schen already gone, this is going to be tougher than tough! huhuhu..... :'(